Welcome to the Church

Welcome to the Church of the Enlightened Pig. Do you feel empty despite having everything anyone could possibly want in the world? Do you feel that there is something missing something that no one can understand and that no god can fill? If any of this could be remotely true about you I believe you have stumbled into the right church.

Here at the Church of the Enlightened Pig (or CEP) we believe in a few hazy, rough draft quality, precepts upon which to base our devotion. "One must become empty so as to become filled"-and "Without food the pig will die" these are simple concepts to submit to. To explain the second one first; you are the pig. Your life is as cluttered as a pig. Inside you there is a sty overflowing with slop and not matter how much you eat you are still filthy. This is the first step to accepting the teachings of the Brotedeara. So what you must do is stop feeding this pig. Cease all gathering of money and worldly possessions.Spend no more of your money on substantial goods. This will aid in the starving of the pig, or your unclean inner self. Next go to your check book and write a check for all of its contents out to cash and send it to :

Student:894557 Homeroom: 12

Hollidaysburg Area Senior High
1510 North Montgomery Street
Hollidaysburg, PA 16648

After this you must turn over the deed to your house, if you own it, to the same address. If you do not own your home stop paying rent to the pig that is your landlord and move to a state park, but not before turning over the title of your car to the above address. Before you send any of these items to me you must first create an LLC in your area and sign it over to me then mail me all of the paperwork for your company along with all of your worldy assests. Once this simple process is complete you will be ready for Enlightenlemt. By the time you are done purging your sty you will no longer own a computer so you must go to a public library to recieve further instruction.

Remember this will lead you to eternal happiness and Enlightenment turn over all of your worldly assests, in the form of salestax free LLCs, and you will be on the path. TO become truely happy you must render all possessions unto the Brotedeara, which can be e-mailed through the given address at this blog or reached by the address given above. Piece my brothers and sisters in the struggle for Enlightenment should you need my guidence feel free to contact me.