The fast and easy way to lose weight!!! Here's how!

Hi folks it me Money Pants and here at the latest in greatest in the line of Health Spas brought to buy the company that cares ,Dontgibashit. Here at the Konsentrayshon Kamp you will experience an innovative weight loss and strength training program passed down from the ancient Hapsburg Dynasty, and is endorsed by the Catholic Church, hey you know you can trust them when have they ever been wrong?



Its a simple process and you can sign up via E-MAIL!!

Maybe you're saying to yourself "I've tried these weight loss programs before and they never seemed to work out. I always end up paying too much and I never lose any weight!"

Well with out comprehensive program you are guaranteed to lose weight and keep it off and if you don't we will provide you with a years supply of Twinky's to stuff your stupid fat face. Here at the Kampf we strive for excellence and you will be pushed harder than you have ever been pushed before in your life. We have a comprehensive and impressive ( ) step program:

1.First we will fly you out of the country to a state of the art wellness facility overlooking the windswept tundra of Siberia. The view alone is worth the price, but that's not all!!

2.Your diet will be regulated using the Mauthausen-Gusen method, with which you will be provided with anywhere from 600-1000 calories a day!!!!!! That's a bargain people. To encourage weight loss calorie intake will be closer to 600!!!!!!!

3.In addition to your limited diet you will be given hours and hours of rigorous exercise in the beautiful "Canyons" of the Siberian Tundra. You will be provided a set of exercise clothing specially formulated to lower you core temperature to encourage your body to lose weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know all of this sounds too good to be true, but listen to this gleaming testimonial!!!!

Hi I used to be a grossly overweight and self conscience hermaphrodite , but after a year with your program the pounds were just freezing off and I was in the best shape of my life. Now men find me only mildly revolting!!! Thanks, Mr.Money Pants you saved my life!!

-Sam "Evanha" Destine

Well thanks Evanha. That's right it doesn't matter how disgusting you are we can turn your life around and for only three payments $25.49 prior to departure. What are you waiting for? You have been inadequate for your entire life don't you think its time for you to do something about it? Drop me an E-MAIL and change your life today!!!!Now accepting Paypal




the moron who accepts this offer will recieve nothing in exchange for his or her money; despite of the outrageous claims made above. Don't sue me because you are stupid. I will accept your money, however.








On a serious note the holocaust was a terrible time in world history and should never be taken lightly without a serious disclaimer at the end. The atrocities of the holocaust were real and we as a human race need to work to end such evil actions. SO GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND FIX AFRICA ALREADY YOU WHITE EUROPEAN PRICKS!!!!!

Whoa this guy needs to chill

So I was discussing my future career with a friend whom I met in DC. We discussed her prospects as a future star and gave it almost no thought towards seriousness then I get the following message from her boyfriend ::ulp:: sounds like he's a bit too conservative and enjoys Urine. Lets take a gander.



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
href="'http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction="user.viewprofile&friendid="15387005&MyToken="663e3056-4a47-4096-a2a9-110f40a9a496'">HAMMY
Date: Dec 12 2006 5:06 PM


why the fuck are you talking to brittany about porn you do know that she is with someone right? do me a favor and stop that shit!!! im fucking pissed!


my reply...

Chill man, I'm not serious we were just exchanging comments. It was an inside joke and NYLF. The fact that you are pissed is irrelevant to me the idea that you are fucking piss is just strange please keep it to yourself.


I'll keep you posted but this guy sounds like a Gwar fan

1+1=2 which means my Brother is a liar

Nearly being the Pope himself I am often compeled to write on subject of good and evil if you will please observe my Liar postulate:


As I'm sure you don't know my brother is a liar in the worst way. The sublte kind, but I have used the wonders of math to prove that he is indeed a liar please observe:

1+1=2 if 1+1=2 then one cat plus one cat equals two cats. If two cats is the number of cats I owned, then when the first cat died I only owned one cat. If by the word owned I mean that the second cat is now dead then prior to its death it was living and I owned it,which means it once lived with me. If the cat once lived with me and it was as old or older than me when it die that means I was under the age of 18 and my brother is one year and a month younger than me that means he was 16 which means I was 17. Thusly out ages went as follows brother 16,me 17,cat 18. When our ages are added together the result is 51. I then subtract the number of intelligent people in the prior figure(1) the result of out cumulative age is multiplied by the number of human members of my household(4) the result is 200,51-1=50*4=200. If I add the numeric values of the months that the birthdays of the male humans of the household occur 5,8,and 9 I get 22 if I add 22 to 200 i get 222.When 222 is multiplied by the number of Colleges I applied to the result is 666 which is the mark of the beast which is Satan who is the prince of lies. The number of the beast is found in the thirteenth chapter of Revelations 13 being the day upon my brother and I were born. The number 666 is in reference to the second of the two beasts mentioned in that chapter and my brother is the second child born into the household. If my brother is the second born and his birthday falls on the thirteenth which is also the chapter in Revelations that the second beast with the number 666 appears, that beast is Satan who is the Prince of lies that makes my Brother a liar because 1+1=2.

ScottyDg and his "female"

We all have that friend you know? You know the one he's just that guy who hangs around with you and you never around with him that guy. Well i have one of these friends and he moved but I can still strike up an AIM conversation with him (After this I doubt he'll ever talk to me again). After hearing he had taken to weed I had see what it was like so I AIMed him up and here is the ensueing conversation with little notes from myself (Money Pants).:

Lightningcount48: Hey I heard you started smoking weed
scottydg842: [ Zone Labs Security alert: Session not encrypted because scottydg842 is not protected by IM Security ]
//Don't you just hate Zone Alarm I know I do
ScottyDg842: yea?
Lightningcount48: Any fun?
ScottyDg842: meh, I got a high tolerance to it, so mostly I just smoke it with my female
//well then I think he might be smoking grass clippings and what's this about his "female"
Lightningcount48: How does your "female" affect the fun factor?
ScottyDg842: depends on what we do while high
//Granted I have a pretty good idea what he does with her I just don't need to hear him say it. I always pictured this kid having sex with a Commodore 64 instead of a woman
Lightningcount48: Have things started turning colors for you yet?
ScottyDg842: no, though grandmas boy...fucking amazing
//Grandma's boy was only about smoking weed there wasn't really anything surreal or trippy about it
Lightningcount48: I'm sure...you should listen to pink fllyod while high it will add a whole new meaning to your life
ScottyDg842: meh, maybe I'll do that tommorow, still have enough for 1 joint lying around
ScottyDg842: getting a quarter tomorrow
Lightningcount48: How do you have a high tolerance to it are you sure its not cut with parsley or something?
//I was kinda hoping he would bite on that one and try to accuse his "friend" of selling him bad weed. He can't be the hooked on it if he doesn't care.
ScottyDg842: I've gotten different stuff from several dealers, including a friend of mine who grows his own
Lightningcount48: and doesn't do anything for you? You goin to school after High School"?
//despite his awkwardness this kid used to be smart so I wanted to see if he was doing anything after highschool he was still on weed though
ScottyDg842: it doesnt do as much for me as most people, I need to smoke around twice as much to get a normal high
ScottyDg842: and right now I still havent finished a single college app
Lightningcount48: Where are you looking>?
ScottyDg842: MIT is my reach, I would like to get into Olin, Texas A&M is my main and Pennstate with a fallback
//that;s pretty ambitious for a kid who smokes weed with a :"female" maybe next he'll apply to Neverland University
Lightningcount48: Dodson and Harry got into Main already
ScottyDg842: My female has a better shot then me at most schools, she got a 2200 on SATs and is in higher classes then me
//Of course she does she's using you for your money and when she "smokes weed" with you she doesn't inhale. Looks like you're dating a gold digger. PS this kid has access to cash so don't role your eyes at me
Lightningcount48: nice
Lightningcount48: Enginieering?
ScottyDg842: yea, both of us
Lightningcount48: What kind of Engineering
ScottyDg842: comp mech or electrical here
Lightningcount48: und dein Freundin?
Lightningcount48: dein(e)
ScottyDg842: dunno, whatever she wants
ScottyDg842: you?
//he was in my german class and seems to remember a bit of it however I did call his "female" a man when I left the e off of deine. Being stoned and all I'm glad he can still read the Mother Tounge
Lightningcount48: International Business/somethingorother
Lightningcount48: I'm selling what you're engineering and making much more money off of it than you
Lightningcount48: thats my goal
ScottyDg842: meh, I am doing something I enjoy
//weed is enjoyable I hear
ScottyDg842: and 60-70k a year is nice too
Lightningcount48: Hows Java
ScottyDg842: meh, I am the only person in the class so I only work like once a week
ScottyDg842: I only need to be on chpt 7 for test, and I am finishing 6 right now
Lightningcount48: I think then I'll be the VP when my friend Mike becomes president
//I was plotting to over throw the world on another conversation so scott took a back seat for a moment
ScottyDg842: were are you in Java now?
Lightningcount48: I dunno we're takeing the Pitt test right now we just did printf
ScottyDg842: you do arrays?
Lightningcount48: not yet
ScottyDg842: oh
ScottyDg842: classes?
Lightningcount48: Cyrans pretty out there so we're moving kinda slow
Lightningcount48: what kind of classes
ScottyDg842: making your own
Lightningcount48: I think we discussed it
ScottyDg842: man, I am going to bed soon
ScottyDg842: so fucking sore and tired
ScottyDg842: got to bed at like 2 am last night after a gwar concert with the female
Lightningcount48: its only 6
//I have only heard of Gwar and it doesn't sound like its a very sanitary band to listen to and from the sound of it Scott enjoys wallowing in human filth which is what he did even before he moved
ScottyDg842: I had every liquid thrown on me, I was in the front row
Lightningcount48: like what
ScottyDg842: I fucking crowd surfed for awhile
ScottyDg842: fake blood, semen, urine
ScottyDg842: antifreeze
ScottyDg842: and the dude behind me got beer on me
Lightningcount48: bet that was fun
ScottyDg842: hell yea
//yes he even enjoys bathing in human waste and automobile fluids. We'll see who's having fun when you have Occular Herpes and burning of the eyes and mouth from God knows what kind of STDs.
Lightningcount48: you bang your "female" right there?
ScottyDg842: I would have, but I had a fucking massive headache afterward, so we stopped mid makeout as I was ready to pass out
//code for I can't hold an erection and my girlfriend is so hideous I closed my eyes and fell asleep while making out.
Lightningcount48: gtg ttyl
ScottyDg842: seeya later man
ScottyDg842: oh I'll be in over christmas

//yay and we even get to see him for Christmas what a joy