Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Another reason to Join my Church

Due to my inexplicable ability to be correct I have devised a way to fix social security. I call it the "Family System." The following essay thingy is unorganized and unrevised so just go for understanding and put the mechanics of the English Language out of your mind.



For decades policy makers have avoided or failed to address the Social Security problem decisively. Now the buck stops here. I have devised a solution that has the ability to withstand the test of time, bring back the nuclear family, and encourage good parenting.
The first step of course is to abolish Social Security as we know it. This new plan calls for the children of the family to support their parents in retirement. When a citizen first enters the work force an account will be set up for the parents of the worker. A small percent of the worker's paycheck will then pay into this account and be made available to the parents upon retirement. The percentage per paycheck should not exceed the expense of one dollar unless the worker wishes to add more to their parent's account.
This system leaves open the question of: What is a parent anyway? The definition of parent for this program will be the adult or adults that live with and provide for he worker until they have completed his or her education and have filed independently on their taxes.
Upon the retirement of the parents, a citizen may sue their parents for the account on the grounds of inadequate expenditure upon development, which includes schooling, medical expenses, and other reasonable expenses one might incur in rearing a child. In the event of a lawsuit a panel will investigate the childhood of the plaintiff and look particularly into the possibility of neglect or abuse. Should the plaintiffs claims be well founded, the account will be awarded as punitive damages. However, if the plaintiff's claims are not extenuating enough, for example:disciplinary actions not amounting to abuse, or other other parenting tactics, the plaintiff will be assessed all legal fees and be forced to pay up to five dollars more a paycheck into their parent's account.
Also upon retirement if the parents feel they have accumulated enough wealth to sustain themselves through retirement, the parents may choose to turn the contents of the account over to their children to do with as they please. Should parents become divorced the retirement account will be given to the primary caregiver and the ousted parent will be forced to pay into their own account.
The amount each worker will pay into their parent's retirement account will vary with the amount of children in the immediate household so as to discourage the rampant proliferation of children.If a household has chosen to adopt, they must first be screened and prove that they are financially and generally secure enough to support a child with the intent to send the child to a state university. A family may not adopt beyond their means in order to garner more sources of income for their account. The same rules apply as above.
If both parents should die, God forbid, before retirement the account will be divided among the remaining children. The same will also be done when eternity finally catches up with both parents.
If an individual does not marry, for one must be married to have children, the individual will be entirely responisible for securing his or her own retirement. After retirement the account may be accessed by the parents and the workers are no longer required to pay into it. As this point the worker may pay into his or her own account.
Organizational issues aside, this plan will encourage the return of a strong nuclear family. With the penalties for poor parenting, parents will be encouraged to provide better opportunities for their children, and now that the retirement account is tied to the ethical treatment of the child, abuse cases will become less frequent. This system will also last because it is not related to the amount of young workers as opposed to retirees. This system shrinks the unit of support to the immediate family and will avoid the pitfalls found in the baby boomer generation; did I just say that? Its true that the money accumulated from a workers check may not be enough to solely support a retired couple, however this encourages savvy investing if not just simple savings. With this plan Americans will know to whom their money is going. With this plan we can start building a stronger America.


Now that wasn't so bad I know you are just itching to see my education reforms, but I'm way too lazy to type it right now so you'll just have to keep hitting refresh until new content comes up.
Let me know what you think e-mail me or comment for further discussion.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

You know what's annoying

People who read your blog and don't comment. Just give me something to read about for Christs sake. I obviously have no life so just copy a wiki page and leave it on my comments i don't care. read an entry I've written and comment on it jeez is there anyone out there if so you must be Retarded because you can't comment!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Welcome to the Church

Welcome to the Church of the Enlightened Pig. Do you feel empty despite having everything anyone could possibly want in the world? Do you feel that there is something missing something that no one can understand and that no god can fill? If any of this could be remotely true about you I believe you have stumbled into the right church.

Here at the Church of the Enlightened Pig (or CEP) we believe in a few hazy, rough draft quality, precepts upon which to base our devotion. "One must become empty so as to become filled"-and "Without food the pig will die" these are simple concepts to submit to. To explain the second one first; you are the pig. Your life is as cluttered as a pig. Inside you there is a sty overflowing with slop and not matter how much you eat you are still filthy. This is the first step to accepting the teachings of the Brotedeara. So what you must do is stop feeding this pig. Cease all gathering of money and worldly possessions.Spend no more of your money on substantial goods. This will aid in the starving of the pig, or your unclean inner self. Next go to your check book and write a check for all of its contents out to cash and send it to :


Student:894557 Homeroom: 12

Hollidaysburg Area Senior High
1510 North Montgomery Street
Hollidaysburg, PA 16648


After this you must turn over the deed to your house, if you own it, to the same address. If you do not own your home stop paying rent to the pig that is your landlord and move to a state park, but not before turning over the title of your car to the above address. Before you send any of these items to me you must first create an LLC in your area and sign it over to me then mail me all of the paperwork for your company along with all of your worldy assests. Once this simple process is complete you will be ready for Enlightenlemt. By the time you are done purging your sty you will no longer own a computer so you must go to a public library to recieve further instruction.


Remember this will lead you to eternal happiness and Enlightenment turn over all of your worldly assests, in the form of salestax free LLCs, and you will be on the path. TO become truely happy you must render all possessions unto the Brotedeara, which can be e-mailed through the given address at this blog or reached by the address given above. Piece my brothers and sisters in the struggle for Enlightenment should you need my guidence feel free to contact me.